


Early Thaw

by FluffyGlitterPantsDragon



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Abuse of italics, Dan says "fuck" a lot, Douchifer, Everyone in this show is bad at undercover jobs, Fake Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Humor, I should be working on other things, Language, Lucidan, M/M, Only One Bed, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sarcasm, Season/Series 04, Snark, Snowed In, Tropes, Troptastic, boys, fuck2020
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:02:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28222857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FluffyGlitterPantsDragon/pseuds/FluffyGlitterPantsDragon
Summary: Dan and Lucifer get sent out on a stake-out! in a camp! On a case!What could possibly happen?
Relationships: Dan Espinoza & Lucifer Morningstar, Dan Espinoza/Lucifer Morningstar
Comments: 53
Kudos: 153





	1. It's a long road

**Author's Note:**

> Should I be working on other stories I already have in progress? Yes.  
> Am I? No.
> 
> Thanks as always to my ever-lovely betas, Just_Mad_Enough, and GlitterskullFairy.
> 
> PS - Just_Mad_Enough recently introduced me to Widdershins - the first actual paper book *anything* I've been able to read in, like, a year. It's written by a trans author from/in my own home state of NC and it's a M/M romance and magic story. Go check it out. (Also, it's a completed 11 book series with minimal ship-related angst.)

"There's supposed to be entertainment!"

"We aren’t there yet." Dan waved vaguely at the crisp, blue sky, "and we're miles away from civilization. What did you expect?"

"An outlet? Somewhere? You've spread all over the planet and brought your toys with you!"

"You're still weird."

"Well, drugs then, at the dead minimum. Aren't they hippies?"

"Reformed hippies. At best, there's probably pot brownies somewhere, as it's still California. With the risk of wildfires, I don't expect anyone to try smoking anything."

"But it's cold out here!" Lucifer kicked at a bit of snow in his as-fashionable-as-possible heavy boots. "And wet."

"The ground is snowy, true, but the air is dry today. There will be a place for a campfire at the site. But that reminds me; and I can't believe I have to tell you, but no smoking on the trail either, big shot."

"What's going to happen? Everything is _wet._ "

Dan tugged his cap further down over his ears. "Them's the rules. It’s bad enough I'm stuck with you. The absolute least you can do is _not_ set the woods on fire."

"Fine."

Noticing the shuffling sounds behind him, he added, "no littering. You'll have to hang on to your stupid habit sticks until we get back down."

Lucifer groused, but settled his heavy coat back in place, leaving it half-open to the light wind. 

Dan deeply enjoyed the twenty seconds of blissful silence, taking the respite from talking to take in the crystal blue sky and to pretend they weren't looking for a murderer in a fucking national park the size of-well. 

It was a _big_ haystack to look through for an evasive needle. 

"Oh, look, Daniel, a large cat!"

Dan looked. There was, in fact, a cougar eying them from not far away. "Don't startle it. It shouldn't bother us, but don't antagonize it."

"You know, I always wanted something exotic to have around the club-"

"Then you should have put your club somewhere else. California has a lot of very good laws about that sort of thing. You do _not_ need a big cat."

"No one _needs_ cats."

"Here we go."

"When Dad invented the animals, house cats didn't even exist. You lot made them. Most dogs and pigs too."

"Can you just. Enjoy nature for five seconds?"

Dan heard Lucifer do something with his feet. He looked to see his companion walking backwards several paces to stare down the cougar as they hiked past her perch. "That's not safe."

"Your concern is touching."

"We're still headed uphill on a wet track. You could slip on a tree root."

"I'm sure you'd catch me."

"Not likely."

"I'd be perfectly fine anyway-"

It was a struggle to not roll his eyes. "Sure, devil and all that. One of these days you're going to actually break something and I hope I'm there to see it."

Even bearing a large pack, Lucifer spun in place deftly, so smoothly that it startled Dan into slipping on a loose pebble. "Oh, I've broken things, certainly. Just not my own parts. Unless you count the times I cut off my wings."

Dan regained his pace, hoping Lucifer hadn't noticed his jerk. He humored his companion to smooth things over. "How do you do that more than once?"

"Oh, they grew back. A lot. My penthouse was absolutely full of dismembered wings for a few days. Very unpleasant."

"You say the weirdest things."

"You say the most boring things."

"Well, one of us has a job they need to actually _do_ for a paycheck. Trixie's college isn't going to pay for itself."

"Isn't your spawn a hair young?"

"It's called planning ahead, Lucifer."

"The apocalypse isn't _that_ far off."

"Look, I know it's been a rough year-"

"What's that?"

"Thank _God_."

"Excuse you."

"That's the marker for the campsite. We'll be able to get our assigned cabins. They're not penthouse-sized either. Do you think you can shut up for the next five minutes?"

He didn't.

* * *

Dan took the clipboard almost violently away from the camp super and signed it like it had personally offended him. He had to stop and remember the correct names to sign to match the registry. Luckily, he was still Dan Espinoza - it's not like anyone would know him from Adam; but 'Lucifer' stuck out like a sore thumb. The person they were looking for knew Lucifer’s name, and would spot it on the books, if that person turned out to be on staff. They didn't believe so, but they hadn't hiked all the way out here to ruin their chances of finding the guy. Dan signed him in as 'Conner Devon' and silently prayed Lucifer would remember his damn fake name.

The camp contact, a slender male and taller than Dan, checked off something and jabbed in a direction with the pen. "Howdy and welcome. The bathroom building is central to the layout of every campsite; there's several sinks and stalls for showers and hot water. Don't use it all; the tank isn't that big. Trash cans are everywhere and when you leave, we expect your cabin to be in the same state you find it in. The big firepit is communal. The cabins have mattresses and pillows, and there are extra blankets in every cabin due to the current weather. If you don't need them, let us know." 

Dan chewed his lip and looked around. Of the three immediately visible cabins, two appeared to be occupied already. A man and woman crouched near the firepit, close together, a trail tramped in the snow to and from one building. A lone man had the door open to his cabin and sat in the doorway. He glanced back at the third in dawning realization. 

Dan tugged the clipboard away from the already annoyed worker. 

Oh no.

"We're in the _same_ cabin?"

The worker, whose name Dan still hadn't asked, just raised an eyebrow. "You and your...partner signed up for the couples camp, didn't you? There are some _other_ sites a few miles away..." he tried to look at Dan like he may or may not be an idiot who hiked for miles out to the wrong camp.

_I'm going to kill him._

Dan triple checked the top of the sign-in page. Yes, that was the correct location. The one Chloe gave them.

_I'm going to kill *her.*_

No wonder she had Dan do it. She was probably laughing her ass off down in the nice warm van at the bottom of the mountain. 

Fine. It's fine. He can do this. He's a professional.

Lucifer shifted in place. "Where are we then, darling?"

Dan froze. _Of course_ he knew. 

Dick. “The cabin on your right. _Dear_.”

* * *

Dan shut the door with slightly too much force and slapped the single light switch on. “What the hell, man?”

“Precisely.”

“You’re doing this on purpose.”

“I do everything on purpose. But no, I requested my usual partner. The Detective declined. I’m calling bottom!”

Dan had begun to count to ten in his head but stopped at two. “You’re what now?”

Lucifer dropped his bag on the bottom bunk. 

Well, at least there was that. Dan put one foot on the ladder and found a complete lack of bedding on the top bunk. “This is not going to work.”

Lucifer smirked. “Too hard for you?”

“A bit, yeah.” He sighed. “Chlo, I’m going off for a few minutes while we sort out the living space. There’s supposed to be a community dinner in a while so I’ll be back then. If I murder Lucifer this weekend, I’m blaming you.”

she clucked in his ear. “ _Don’t be a baby_. _See you. Have fun._ ”

"Yeah. Sure." He shucked a glove, picked the earbud out and stuffed it in a pocket. “On the bright side, once I get another mattress in here, you get to be as miserable as me, if not more.”

“You say that as if I’ve never spent a night in the woods. Thin, twenty-year old mattresses or none at all."

“Somehow I can’t believe you have.”

Lucifer had the nerve to look bemused as he removed his down coat, searching for a place to hang it. “I’ll survive better out here than you will. I’m not even cold.”

“Hmmph. Wanna bet?”

“Naturally. What are the rules?”

“I’ll go easy on you. You collect the right kind of kindling and light the campfire tonight without any help and I’ll actually try to be convincing tomorrow as your happy partner or husband or whatever. You fail, which you will, and you have to leave me alone as much as possible for the rest of the time we're here."

Lucifer hung his coat on the corner of the bunk and rubbed his hands together. “Oh, it’s a _deal_.”


	2. Meet the neighbors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LuciDan meet their campmates.
> 
> Then it gets really cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays!
> 
> ongoing thanks to Just_Mad_Enough and GlitterSkullFairy who put up with me. For some reason.

Dan spent too long already watching his own breath puff out into cold air, and had found nothing. He didn’t even talk back to Chloe via the ear piece, lest he be overheard by someone in the super quiet woods. In the dead of winter, not much else moved or made sounds. 

He came across a swiftly running creek that looked like it had good places to dispose of murder tools and he wanted to come back to it during the next day for a better look. Then again, if their suspect was *really* determined, they would have gone much further away from camp. The sky got dark enough that he needed to head back before he got lost, gleefully expecting to find a cold and sad Lucifer.

Dan didn’t really want him to be _completely_ miserable though, in spite of their rivalry. He didn’t quite have it in him to hope Lucifer utterly failed; especially with the other campers also needing enough heat to you know, _survive_ , out in what had to be the coldest fucking winter he’d experienced this far south in CA, mountains or otherwise.

Green-rimmed eyes flashed, low to the ground. It had to be a raccoon but it also could have been something bigger. Dan crunched through the snow a little bit faster, stuffing his gloved hands under his arms and not caring for the lack of feeling in his toes right this second.

As he got closer to home base, the starkly flickering firelight licking up the sides of trees was welcoming enough that he didn’t care who succeeded at making it, or how. 

The bright, happily burning fire lit up the entire community area nicely, with nearly no popping of wet wood and little extra smoke. Two people sat near it, and Lucifer, smiles all around.

Lucifer grinned up at him. “Nice of you to join us, darling.”

He paused. _Tomorrow. The deal was for tomorrow to be nice._ “You really did this all by yourself?”

The woman he spotted earlier waved from part way around the fire. “He did! They hadn’t even made the schedule out yet for our chores and he just went to it. Isn’t he sweet?”

“You were taking forever to get ready, so I found another suitable witness for my efforts. I didn’t think you’d believe me without one.”

“I wasn’t - fine. Okay, it looks good.” He hadn’t been _getting ready_ , he’d been walking the outer edges of the site. He resisted the urge to stand _too_ close to the fire to get warm faster and sat on the split log next to Lucifer. “Where did you learn to make a fire?”

Lucifer just cocked an eyebrow. 

“Right. Sure.”

The woman leaned forward next to her significant other; an interacial couple similar in build to each other. “Gotta love long-term couple communication, huh?”

“We aren’t- guh. I just know what he’s going to say, that’s all.”

“How long have you two been together? My husband, Jerry, and I have eight years in.”

Lucifer grinned widely. “Yes, darling, how long has it been? Seems like ages, doesn’t it?”

Dan mentally face-palmed as he probably shouldn’t do it in actuality. He crossed his arms close to his body and tried to count back from when they met. “Two years? Three?”

She giggled. “You don’t remember the date?” To Lucifer she added, “you’ll have to make him pay for that.”

To his horror, Lucifer agreed with a dark chuckle. “I’m sure only mild correction will be required. But yours sounds equally vague.”

“Oh no, it’s our anniversary. Exactly eight years.” She looked at her watch. “And 4 hours.”

Jerry pecked her on the cheek. “Longer if you count the _first_ date.”

She laughed playfully, “that wasn’t a date!”

Dan scrubbed his face with his hands _. Kill me now._

His nightmare continued as Lucifer cajoled the full story of how they met in middle school and the ‘not a first date’ story. Melinda, Jerry’s wife, cuddled closer to her husband as he boisterously relayed the entire tale with animated arm gestures. Two more people - the lone man from before and a younger woman, arrived and sat together, politely waiting. Within five minutes, she had her phone out and was flicking through something on it while her partner watched the fire, clearly bored. 

Lucifer abruptly threw an arm around Dan and pulled him closer, surprising him. Dan cursed himself for drifting off in the middle of the story. He was responding to something Melinda just said, “oh, yes! That’s very similar to how I met this one man I ended up quite involved with - except that it was three centuries ago. He ended up well-published, actually-”

“Ahem!”

Everyone turned to look up at a woman holding another clipboard. She had a lanyard around her neck with a photo ID and fly-away blonde hair that stood out in a very bush-like style Dan wasn’t certain was intentional. She smiled mechanically, like she did it all day. “Hello campers. Just a reminder that we should all be focusing on our current relationships. And no phones are permitted during community activities. It was all on the forms you signed.”

Oh good. A form-stickler.

The other un-introduced woman flushed and quickly stuffed her phone in a backpack that Dan hadn’t noticed before. He tried not to look too hard at it, but it did seem out of place to not be in their cabin.

Blonde-bush woman sniffed. “If you need to review all the rules, please ask, I’ll be happy to help you. I hope you’re all settling in - tomorrow will be a big day so try to get enough sleep tonight. Does everyone here have camping experience or is this new for anyone?”

The phone woman frowned and finally raised her hand to shoulder height. She was younger than the rest of them, with curly blonde hair that looked like it came of a salon earlier today. “I’m new.”

“Riley, isn’t it? Any of the staff are here if you and your boyfriend need anything, alright?”

The boyfriend fidgeted. Riley bumped knees with him but it looked accidental. She tugged her gloves back on and looked at the ground in front of the fire. “Yeah, thanks.”

"My name is Natalie if you need me. I’m your camp leader for this and the next one down,” she pointed off to the side where another fire was visible at a distance Dan wouldn’t want to try crossing in the dark. He noted the creek he found was somewhere between the two sites. She added matter-of-factly, “there are more couples on the mountain and you’ll meet some of them tomorrow. As long as it doesn’t snow again.”

Dan blinked. “Again?”

“Yes, dear, any more like what we had yesterday and you’ll be asked to stay in this area for your own safety. Not to worry though, the leaders all have snowmobiles. In a real pinch we can call in helicopters.”

An assistant materialized out of near pitch blackness from behind her - a younger man bearing a large plastic cooler. He set it down between two log benches and scooted away again. Without missing a beat, Natalie pointed at it, “this is your dinner and breakfast. I’m glad you all signed up for the King Bear option - the other camp had a mix of low and high-end menus and a fight almost broke out. We’ll have none of that here, _correct?_ ” 

Dan winced. He was absolutely sure that the police department hadn’t sprung for any upgrades, meaning it was Lucifer’s doing. Still, the kabobs looked really good so he wasn’t going to complain. 

Dinner was marinated venison and veggies on steel kabobs, fresh corn that got roasted in the fire, small loaves of recently baked hard-crust bread and butter, along with cherry cobbler in a cast-iron cauldron for dessert that was brought to bubbling heat while they ate and talked. There was tea or coffee along with several bottles of water they were instructed to all drink and bring some back to their cabins to avoid dehydration.

He half-expected Lucifer to turn up his nose at the peasant bread or demand flatware, but he dug right in, breaking his open and ate it with his fingers, wrapping chunks of it around hot kabob meat to retain all the juices. He made comments about ‘the old days’ and ‘desert nomads with camel butter instead of cow’ but Dan missed most of it while trying to decide if any of their meal companions were potential suspects.

He gave up half-way through dinner, deciding that if any of the people around the fire were criminals, they were also masters of disguise and Dan wouldn’t suss it out anyway.

After dinner, he managed to step away from the fire for a moment to discreetly talk to Chloe, taking a trip down to the wash area.

A few days ago, Ella was the one who found the clue leading back to the retreat. For whatever reason, Chloe and Lucifer weren’t working together that well, or often. Eve wasn’t turning up anymore - thank God - and he wasn’t spending much time thinking about that either. For him, it was a no-brainer on why she turned down taking the lead on this fact-finding mission in the midst of a cold snap on a mountain side. 

Honestly he thought he would have killed Lucifer by now, but he seemed to be behaving, mostly. Sometimes he even had half-decent instincts. 

They were assembling s’mores when he got back. He didn’t think he had space in his stomach after dessert for yet more dessert, but roasted marshmallows reminded him of backyard fires with Trixie and he had to have at least one stack of the chocolate treat. Someone asked generally about previous camping trips, and he talked about his daughter - only a little, and generically - but it was nice.

He picked up their next day breakfast box when they got up to turn in for the night. It felt satisfyingly heavy. It’s not like they’d starve to death if they did get snowed in for a day or two, but there was still something comforting about having ‘enough’ food.

By the time the evening had begun to wind down, Dan had to admit it had actually been really pleasant. He had allowed himself to mostly forget they were looking for a murder suspect, trusting Chloe to pick up anything he missed. Lucifer even got him to laugh once, telling everyone about the time a friend hired a male stripper for Dan's ex-wife's birthday. At work. He somehow managed to do it without revealing where work was or what, and all without lying about anything.

The stars came out clear and bright - no signs of snow-laden clouds anywhere. He was already looking forward to a good sleep when he abruptly halted in the doorway, causing Lucifer to nearly walk into him. 

“What are you doing?”

“Shit, I completely forgot to get more blankets from the crazy camp leader woman.”

Lucifer dodged around him, diving for his own phone in his backpack after hours of separation from it. “You could call her.”

“I-”

That was actually a good idea. 

The call went to the voicemail of the camp general number. Dan didn’t leave a message. “Well, it was worth a shot.” 

“There are plenty of blankets anyway.”

“Actually, I don’t have a mattress, and I have no idea if it’s part of the camp ‘thing’ to only have one functional bed or not. I really don’t want her to ask questions about… ‘us.’”

“Surely you’re not embarrassed. I’m the better looking one.”

“No, but I’m about 90% sure you’re going to blow it if asked for details.”

Lucifer opened his mouth.

“ _No._ ”

He looked slightly hurt, his already normally expressive eyes looking back earnestly, “you don’t even know what I was going to say.”

“Let’s just assume I do.”

“You’re absolutely no fun.”

“We’re hunting a murderer, remember? Could be more than one.”

He shifted, “the non-murderers were nice enough.”

“We haven’t ruled them out either.”

“None of them seemed capable of poisoning anyone. Dear Natalie seems more likely to stab someone with office supplies.”

“I hate to admit it, but you’re probably right. The person responsible pretty much has to be one of the employees here, but we haven’t found the direct connection or motive. I still say there’s a third party involved, given the circumstances. I’d like to find them and get out of here as quickly as possible.”

He sniffed, “most people enjoy being in my company.”

“Most people aren’t victims of your snack theft or bad office pranks. Almost all of which seems to be directed at me for some reason.”

Lucifer shrugged. “Perhaps I just enjoy your reactions.”

Dan ignored him and shivered. The cabin was fairly well insulated - in the sense that it kept the wind out. But there was no heater and the fireplace barely counted as such. It was built to not have a huge fire that would risk burning the place down. But fuck, it was getting cold. He sat on the split log 'chair' and debated options. 

Naturally, Lucifer was down to a long-sleeved shirt and comfortable looking pj’s by the time Dan stopped staring mournfully at the barely flickering fireplace. His companion's enthusiasm seemed undaunted in any way by the biting air. He had the gall to smile down at Dan. “We can make the most of it," adding insult to injury with, "hubby-poo."

The double take nearly wrenched his neck. "You aren't serious."

Lucifer sat down too hard on the mattress with a mild look of annoyance. "I fear you're correct about this being no penthouse, but at least the frame is off the floor. I'm told I'm quite the heat generator."

Dan bit the inside of his cheek and moved his socked feet closer to the fire. He knew from experience that the plank floor against very cold ground would be absolutely intolerable, even with blankets and clothing. He'd be better off in the top bunk than closer to the fireplace. 

Apparently, the handsome bastard knew it too, somehow. 

It wasn't _nearly_ cold enough to even contemplate crawling into bed with the Devil. 

Yet.

"Just get some sleep. I still think Riley is suspicious enough to keep an eye on. She seems to be a sudden late addition and she and her boyfriend don't seem to be too cozy with each other. Maybe we got lucky and we have an accomplice right next door."

Lucifer snorted. "Care to pile on the bet? She reeks of innocence. She's probably just getting away from controlling parents for a bit."

He could easily be right, but Dan wasn't about to admit it. "I already have to pretend we're a couple tomorrow-"

"Oh, how about fiancés? Feel free to be more inventive with pet names, darling."

"God I hate you sometimes."

"Don't let Him hear you say that. He gets testy with talkback. But I guess you're not exactly one of His children."

"Could you just-" Dan sighed through gritted teeth. "What did you tell the rest of the group? About our relationship status?"

Sincerely, he said, "I referred to you as my partner, since that's the truth. You're welcome to call us whatever you want." he sounded dismissive, but Dan swore there was an underlying current to the tone.

"Okay. For starters, we _aren't_ married, so no more 'hubby' anything or I might vomit."

"Still divorced then. And no wonder. I have no idea why Mum put up with you."

"Do you _want_ me to punch you?"

"It's not a good idea, for you. The Detective is well out of range."

"Jesus- no, don't say it. Fine. Whatever. Noise will carry really far here, and I don't want to be heard having an argument."

Lucifer waggled his eyebrows, "we could be heard having something else."

"No. I thought you just said-"

"Putting up with you and having perfectly fun, random-"

"Nevermind. I'm going to sleep."

"...mind if I have a wank then?"

Dan could only imagine what his face looked like. "Oh my- yes, I very much mind."

"Humans are so peculiar these days."

* * *

He used a stick to scrape out a cobweb, dragged blankets into the top bunk and slapped the light off as he climbed up. He tried very hard not to feel like a nesting bird making do with whatever it could find in the moment. The new memories of the pleasant evening faded in the presence of cold that rested on his teeth like rock-hard ice cream.

The top bunk creaked as Dan moved across it.

Lucifer sighed.

Dan twisted, rolling up in stiff, cold blankets on thin boards. He'd left or missed his pillow and had too much pride to go back down for it.

He hit his head twice, initially deciding to sleep with his head at one end, but finding a draft from the door frame. He scrunched around, yanking the blankets and managing to lie down again. 

He huffed and settled, reaching for his phone one last time, but it was out of reach. 

Lucifer asked irritably, "problems, dear?"

Dan shuffled in place and decided he didn't need his phone. Or a pillow. Or a bed partner. 

Hell. If Chloe were here, she'd probably even share the bunk for warmth, as a friend.

Sort of like what Lucifer had offered?

Nope. 

Dan jerked when he thought he saw a spider, but it was only a shadow. Unfortunately, he bumped his head _again._

"I swear by all things unholy, I don't bite unless you ask me to."

Dan turned over. Camping as a kid had been _fun._ Hot chocolate, snow ball fights. Now the bitter cold seemed to be trying to find his joints, every crack in his blanket armor.

He re-arranged the blankets so they covered his head. Every inch of movement sounded like sandpaper dragging. 

This was fine. 

Lucifer finally began snoring lightly.

It was the only thing Dan could hear. 

An owl finally broke the spell, but then went quiet again. He had gotten too used to city sounds since he moved to LA, and the wide, empty plains of Texas seemed a very long time in the past. As Lucifer’s breathing quieted, the whole world retreated to a dull, empty roar in his ears that bore down on him, intruding where highway sounds should be. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The really happy couple they meet may or may not be based on a real life couple I know. Man I miss seeing people.


	3. Three Dog Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start to heat up.

Dan didn't think he slept. At least not really - falling more or less unconscious from the cold in-between trying to keep as still as possible as to not wake up Lucifer - doesn’t count.

Everything hurt. Or didn’t hurt because his fingers seemed to be numb at the tips.

He had one of those waking moments where you blink and you're awake but it didn't feel like he had been sleeping. 

And it was still dark outside and he sure as fuck wasn't going to get any more rest.

And now he had to pee.

Fantastic.

He missed the last step on the way down the ladder, landing on his ass on the cold boards and swearing louder than he meant to.

Lucifer peeked out at him from under his blankets in annoyance, turned over towards the wall and went back to sleep.

Dan debated on just using an empty water bottle but thought a quick wash-up might help his mood. 

He laced up his boots, stepped outside and changed his mind on half of the plan. There was enough new snow on the ground to make him think twice about making the 100 foot walk to the washrooms, in the dark. He stepped to the closest tree then rubbed his hands quickly with some fresh snow and went back inside.

Dan warmed himself by the fire for a few minutes, debating on how badly he wanted to risk bumping his head again in the dark and mentally cursing the existence of weather in general.

Lucifer half-turned to eye him, "we could both actually achieve an hour or two of sleep, you know."

"I hope it doesn't involve a gag or knocking me out. I promise I'll just get grumpier."

"Don't tempt me. It's more 'Devil or the deep blue sea.' Or in this case, Arendale"

It took him a second. "You saw _Frozen?_ "

"...Your spawn called in a favor. Somehow she owes me none, yet I can refuse her nothing."

"That's kids for you. Wait-," a number of interesting images flashed through his head, conjured by his imagination. "Wait, did she make you sing too? Cause I think I'd pay to see that."

"Don't be ridiculous. The agreement was for watching only. The trolls rather reminded me of you, however."

Dan snorted. "You’re not as funny as you think you are."

"Oh, but I am. You, on the other hand..."

"I haven’t done improv in like, a year. I'm rusty."

"Are you going to chatter for the rest of the night or climb in and get warm?"

Dan grumbled. "That’s all we're doing."

Lucifer rolled his eyes and patted the empty space behind him.

"Do not tell Chloe."

"Any other objections? Or would you prefer to stay half-frozen until dawn, making so much noise that I won't sleep either?"

"We could...swap?"

He got the most audible _seriously?_ look he'd ever received in his life. And he had a daughter.

"Fine. Just-"

"Don't tell any living human you're so insecure about your sexuality you'd almost rather freeze to death than risk being slightly uncomfortable? Certainly."

He took a swig of cold water to delay, but it was like ice in his throat. With a heavy, put-upon sigh, he went over.

"Lose your layers, please."

Coat and outer pants removed, the cold air hitting skin became a deciding factor and he climbed in under the blankets Lucifer held up for him. 

Holy _shit_ it was nice.

Lucifer was a _furnace_. And an excellent small spoon. Warmth flooded his body almost painfully fast. Dan made one last grumpy noise of protest and Lucifer pulled his arm over his waist. His left fingers curled into Lucifer’s shirt of their own volition and he totally didn’t moan. Dan fell into a deep sleep immediately. 

* * *

He snorted awake, staring at the back of Lucifer’s smooth, expensive, cotton sleeping shirt, over nothing but well-formed shoulders. There wasn’t much to actually see; it was still dark outside. The low light of the small fireplace cast a flickering glow that framed Lucifer’s black hair in almost a halo. 

Dan shifted slightly and closed his eyes again, pressing closer without really thinking about it. Lucifer smelled...unexpectedly good. A little sweet or something. He decided to stop pondering it and try to sleep a bit more.

Sleeping with someone wasn't new.

Sleeping with someone half-again his size was. Not to mention the person in question appeared to be around nothing percent body fat. His bunkmate remained softer than the mattress or the boards pressing them together - the bunks were twin-size, at best, probably less. Dan considered that Lucifer had to be too tall to actually stretch out flat.

Dan pulled his face away a little and felt a string of saliva come with him. Great.

He seriously thought about trying to wipe it off, but moving might wake up Lucifer. Moving would require withdrawing his hand from around the warm body he pressed up against.

Dan liked feeling his toes again. 

Lucifer murmured, "morning, darling."

He pretended to still be asleep. 

“I heard your breathing change.”

“It’s too early for morning.”

"Turn on your other side."

Dan turned his head to stare at the top bunk planks above him for five seconds then gave in, pressing his warmer but still cold feet against Lucifer’s shins as they reversed spoons. There was still plenty of fabric between them to preserve any remaining objections in his brain.

Thank fuck Lucifer didn't have morning wood. 

Taller than Dan, Lucifer wrapped himself around Dan’s curled position like a hungry, but friendly, snake. His breath was warm on Dan's neck and he could just barely feel the prickle of stubble on his shoulder. Lucifer’s curled hand rested high on Dan’s chest, undemanding. 

It wasn’t nearly as terrible as he thought it might be. There was an odd sort of comfort that became easy to sink into. Lucifer lacked any softness of a female body, but it wasn’t... _weird._ He had a flashback of being in a pile of mixed-gender bodies back in college - passed out after a party, back when a hangover was a thing only seen in movies or shows and his joints didn’t complain about stupid things like standing up too fast. He’d woken up on top of his best friend, Gabe, and they independently made the decision to never bring it up again. 

Kind of a shame, really, an old, long since ignored part of his brain whispered.

For a few moments, Dan wondered what it’d be like - waking up this way every morning, _this_ warm and being held _by_ someone else. Chloe preferred being the little spoon, putting her cold feet on his shins, small and vulnerable in his arms. He wondered if Lucifer had ever had that. Not that it really mattered - he had no say in what she did with her love life, but she’d be even smaller next to Lucifer, like a doll. 

Charlotte had been as tall as he was, but no less heat-searching than Chloe. The memory of a smaller set of hips grinding back into his made him shift a fraction away from Lucifer’s middle, lest the memory alone make his body responsive.

Praying Lucifer was actually asleep again, Dan let himself feel it. The security with the warmth. The certainty Lucifer didn’t want to move either, to disturb him. It was one thing to share blankets and a bed, warmth. It was another to curl up to someone, pressing and drawn in. Maybe he had so many partners he was simply used to never sleeping alone, automatically grabbing for the closest one. 

Still. 

The...snuggling didn’t have to be sexual at all. He’d half-expected to start being eaten alive as soon as he gave in to Lucifer’s offer, but the Devil seemed true to his word by offering heat and nothing more than was asked of him.

Dan thought of him as a very dense blanket and drifted off again until the sun came up.

* * *

He jerked awake as someone banged loudly on their door.

Cop instincts flung him out of bed, untangling from Lucifer’s arms with a wrench that had them both wide awake. His heart climbed into his throat, beating hard.

Lucifer groaned at the light of the sunrise peeking through shuttered windows and pulled the blankets back over his head.

Dan forced himself to calm the fuck down, since it was likely one of the camp supers, and not, you know, a bear or something else his sleep-addled brain could come up with.

A muffled voice came through the door, “you guys awake? It’s _activity_ time!” she basically sang the word, working 'activity' into a higher pitch with way too much enthusiasm.

Oh good. It was Natalie. Very low, Dan muttered, “are you fucking kidding me?” Louder, he replied, “ _What_ activity?”

“Didn’t you read your schedule?”

_Jesus fucking_ \- “Lets pretend I did but it’s stupid early and I didn’t sleep well.”

“Group breakfast first - I hope you kept your boxes from freezing. Then fishing. After that, lunch and the trail ride.”

Lucifer pulled the blankets back down to his neck, “Someone’s grumpy.”

“Fine, let us get dressed and we’ll be right down.”

Dan swore he heard a pen click and scratching on paper as she turned in the snow and walked away. He sighed. “When I camped last, it didn’t require paperwork.”

“Funnily enough, me either.”

“Let me guess. That was before writing was invented.”

“Oh no, writing has been around much longer than you might have thought. It was before the state of California was designated as such, however, if that helps.”

“Oddly enough, no, that doesn’t help. Do you know what would help?”

“A quickie?”

Aaaand he’s back. Great. “Ah- no. Not that either. Coffee. As much coffee as possible. Coffee and whatever I can stuff in my face before we go freeze our asses off. Again.”

“Speaking of stuffing things in your face-”

“Just. No.”

“Hmmph.”

* * *

The best news Dan got all morning as they stuffed foil-wrapped breakfast burritos in the re-kindled fire was that they’d be separated all along the creek - still in couple units, of course, but far enough away to have some privacy. Dan would be able to let Lucifer pretend to fish while he explored as far as time would let him. Even better, the nearby site would be joining them. 

Riley and her boyfriend seemed a little more comfortable around each other. Dan still wasn’t convinced they were together. He couldn’t quite put a pin on why though. 

Dan ate some of his burrito and squeezed packets of hot sauce down the middle. Lucifer raised an eyebrow. “Can you even taste it that way?”

“Didn’t you know that pain is flavor?” he took a big bite, savoring the contrast of bits of sweeter roasted vegetables, meat, eggs, cheese and the sting of cayenne. “Want some?”

“Normally I don’t really indulge since it makes little difference to me, but I’ve seen how humans tend to react to - well, too much of anything, really.” Lucifer regarded Dan’s burrito doubtfully.

“Oh come on, I know you have a high alcohol tolerance. You have to have some weaknesses. It’s good, try it.”

He knew he meant the sauce packets. He _knew_ it. Lucifer gamely leaned over and took a bite of Dan’s burrito, which happened to contain a fair amount of Texas Pete saturating one side. 

Lucifer’s playful tug of his lips as he chewed dissolved as tears welled up and he breathed in through his nose. He washed it down quickly with black coffee that smelled of whiskey, and looked at Dan askance. He pocketed several loose packs of hot sauce and muttered about ‘checking them for holy water.’

Dan swallowed his bite and laughed, “just admit you can’t take the heat. This isn’t even that hot, honestly. Carolina Reapers aren’t even _fun_ to eat, by themselves anyway.”

“Honestly, this doesn’t usually happen…”

“C’mon buddy, it’s too early for performance issues.”

It was then Dan realized that Riley’s boyfriend was looking back at them the way Dan had first looked at Riley. Dan reached out and clasped Lucifer’s hand, squeezing it and remembering he had to make good on being a ‘boyfriend’. Boyfriends probably didn’t call each other ‘buddy’. Swallowing thickly, he added quietly, but not _too_ quietly, “Unlike last night.” 

Apparently the fake whisper wasn’t anything close to a whisper because everyone immediately began staring at them. Dan felt his face turn red and Riley looked at the ground, fighting a smile. Luckily someone coughed and stood to help gather trash.

Lucifer whispered breathily, close to his ear and with an implied grin, “solid attempt, darling. Next time I’ll handle the displays of affection, hmm?”

He pulled his cap as far down his face as he could and still see. “Yeah, whatever you want.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for staying with me! comments are life, and always appreciated, thank you <3 The end of 2020 is in sight.


	4. Sure, blame the ice princess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fishing and planning commence. Dan is still a little put out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!

Fishing itself went...well.

However, Natalie clearly meant to murder everyone on the trip. That or fishing had been planned months ago and she was such a schedule keeper, she decided absolutely no other _activity_ could be swapped out in favor of it.

Dan was kind of dying to know how the other campsites were fairing. 

He made his way along the creek, talking to Chloe without fear of being overheard and discovered. 

“Chlo, I gotta ask, why aren’t you up here enjoying all this…weather?”

“I thought you guys could use some time together.”

“C’mon. I’m not stupid.”

“So, yeah, sometimes I’m even worse at undercover stuff than Lucifer is.”

“And?”

“You remember last week when I kicked that guy in the face when he drew on me?”

“That was badass!”

“...I kind of twisted my ankle. I can’t go hiking, for at least two weeks. I’m in a brace. It’s not bad, but I _hate_ getting put on desk duty over nothing. Don't tell the boss, okay?”

Dan rubbed his forehead. “Okay, I was really mad at first. You know I don’t like working with Lucifer.”

“I know. I appreciate that you’re doing it despite that. You guys do make a good team though, when you try.”

"I think you mean when _he_ tries."

"You don't make it easier on him either."

"He's not a cop."

"We work with a ton of people who aren't cops. And arrested some who were."

"Fair. Hey, when did Trixie get him to watch Frozen?"

"Oh my God. He told you about that?"

Dan gestured vaguely at the scenery, forgetting she couldn’t see it. "I'm not saying I've seen any ice castles up here, but I'm not ruling out spotting one. If I see a flaxen-haired woman in a sparkling blue dress I'm blaming her and coming back down."

She laughed, in a way he knew she was half-hiding it behind her hand. "I didn't actually get to see it happen. Maze was sitting her, and I guess he turned up, back before - before, uh," her voice caught a second and lowered, "before Eve arrived."

He knew why she choked. Before her ex died. He still felt a pang of guilt for the fact they didn’t catch him before he was killed by some mysterious person with a knife. It nagged at him from time to time, but the best guess going around was a disgruntled henchman turned on Pierce and killed him. 

Dan shook it off. "What's up with that name, huh? He had to pick a girlfriend named Eve, of all things."

"Hah. Yeah. How about that?" She paused then asked, "what was up with you and Ella?"

He answered too fast, "nothing."

Her voice was teasing, like she knew something. "Yeah, okay. Just don't break her heart okay? I mean, Lucifer's not a jealous person…"

Dan almost responded in time, but heard a _whack_ of paper on her end. He bit the inside of his cheek. "Is Ella down there?"

"Yeah, she's waving at you, and making rude gestures at me."

He chuckled in spite of himself. "Sounds like she's doing more than that."

"We're talking about sending her up there to look around while everyone is out on your next _activity_."

"You heard that?"

"It was hard not to. Nothing else though, I think the piece was on but it was by the door or something. I checked the site and you guys will be out on a trail for at least an hour. We figure the place will be deserted."

"I'm headed back to Lucifer to see how he's doing. The campsites are mostly within view of each other and the main, large building. Nothing has a lock from what I've seen. I can probably check the women's restrooms myself but I'd appreciate it if Ella does it. I'll let you know if anyone stays behind, but both camps are supposed to go out in a big group. There's six in ours and eight or nine in the other."

"Nine?"

"There's another adult with one of the couples. Dunno if they're some kind of assistant or what."

"Aw! Maybe they're poly."

"This isn't Utah…"

"Not Mormon. Or probably not. It's a lot more common these days. Lucifer’s pan, you know."

"Remind me to look up the current terms later."

"Ella is making faces at you."

"Lucifer can see me, so I'm gonna stop talking to myself in case anyone else is nearby too. I'll stay on so you can hear when we head out."

"Okay, good luck."

Lucifer beamed at him from under a black wool hat that somehow looked good on him. A woman Dan hadn't met before applauded him with gloved hands as he held up an impressively sized fish. Trout maybe? 

Dan got close enough for the woman to notice him and she waved. "Hey, Daniel, right? Your boyfriend has a talent for fishing." She had dark blue hair that curled around her collar and dark skin that made her stand out against the snowy backdrop.

"Just 'Dan.' I step away to find a tree and you've found an audience already."

Lucifer deftly extracted the hook from the fish and placed it in a cooler. "I hope the kitchen has lemons and herbs. These will be lovely roasted on spits."

"These?" Leaning over to look, there had to be four or five sizable fish in the damn cooler. "...how?"

"I suppose I just attract everything, be it wildlife or lovely fellow campers." He winked at the woman, sending a completely unreasonable spark of jealousy down Dan’s body. 

What the heck? "Good work, uh, babe." And felt immediately ridiculous for uttering the term.

Lucifer just grinned brightly and closed the cooler. "When we get back, what you really need to do is try my nigiri. I haven't carved a tuna in a while - can't let my knife skills get rusty." For some reason, he added a hard wink at Dan, making the woman titter and blush.

Dan shrugged and retrieved his (unused) fishing pole and net.

Lucifer introduced him to the small woman, Leila, half of another couple. She had gotten bored and started wandering downstream, talking to other couples. She was pleasant enough, but kept him from talking to Lucifer on the way back. 

* * *

The main building was heated with a roaring fire, thank fuck. In the bright daylight it was visible from their campsite - the place everyone could go and fit inside if all the cabins burned down or something. Dirt paths ran between both campsites and up to the front porch, covered in frost but still distinguishable from the surrounding scrub, making the hall the hub of the wheel of all the buildings. Of the hall itself, Natalie’s office as well as a kitchen snuggled up on one side, along with bathrooms one didn’t have to trudge back to camp for. He could see the fireplace from just outside the doors, making him itch to shed his coat and go in. He had to go be a good camp attendee first though. Leila left them to find her husband.

Lucifer paused outside, chatting with Natalie and the weird assistant, passing over the cooler full of fish to him. 

He fidgeted, grasping the handle with both hands until Natalie shooed him inside. She smiled at Lucifer and Dan primly, marking their equipment as _returned_ on her clipboard. "You seem to be having a good time."

Lucifer’s natural enthusiasm seemed to be dialed up to eleven, in spite of the stinging cold. "It's actually all very refreshing. I hadn't expected to enjoy getting away from my usual crowds this much."

Dan chuckled, "I'm sure they miss you already."

Natalie cocked her head, tilting her stiff blonde mane off-kilter and reminding Dan uncontrollably of Yoda. "Oh? Are you in entertainment, Mr. Devon?"

Lucifer’s breathing skipped a beat, then he nodded, "oh, yes, quite. I own a-"

Goddammit. "-Studio. He owns a small music production studio." Dan nodded exaggeratedly. "Uh, really small." Why can't he just stay on fucking script?

Lucifer huffed but didn't correct him. "Hmm. Yes, good to get away from all that, isn't it, darling?"

A faint real smile touched her lips, then passed. "You sing? I think we have a guitar around somewhere."

Dan nodded, "he does. I _can_ play a guitar but you wouldn't want me to."

"Torture it more likely." Lucifer leaned against an outdoor post, lowering his height slightly and incidentally moving closer to her.

No one else was around, them being the last to come in for lunch. Dan took the opportunity and said, "so, the news said someone died right after coming up here. It made us think about maybe not coming after all, but we really needed a break, so here we are."

She stiffened slightly. "That's not normal around here. I'm sure it had nothing to do with the retreat."

Thankfully, Lucifer took his cue, looking down at her. "Are you certain you haven’t heard _anything_? You must know everything that goes on around here, having so much responsibility over everyone."

Her eyes unfocused, and this time Dan almost swore he saw _something_ . Chloe said it wasn't a trick, but he couldn't imagine what else it could be. So he paid attention this time, watching her body posture relax in response, despite the height difference of Lucifer being more than a head taller than her. And you know, despite him _staring her down_. Lucifer leaned closer to her, almost imperceptibly, more like the world pushing up and moving her closer to him than the other way around. 

The entire world slowed down to the space of a pause between heartbeats.

Natalie's lips parted slightly, her eyes wide open in spite of the dry, cold air, hesitating, "I didn't-"

The still unnamed assistant returned abruptly, calling out, "ma! They're waiting on us."

Well, that explained one thing. 

A snowflake drifted across his vision. 

Lucifer muttered, "bollocks." Louder, to Dan, he added nonplussed, "shall we go in, dear? The fire looks delightful."

Dan found his gloved hand caught and squeezed by Lucifer, so he returned it instinctively. The simple, reassuring contact distracted him, warming him. _I might actually miss this when it's over._

* * *

The wall next to the door looked like a fortress made of hanging winter wear; a mix of heavier coats along with multiple lighter layers of all colors, including hats and gloves. Dan took Lucifer’s puffy coat with his and hung them anywhere he could find a place. 

Naturally, Lucifer had no hat-hair. Dan avoided checking any mirrors. He rubbed his chin and jaw, feeling a day's growth scrubbily encroaching and certain it looked awful.

"Working up to ruggedly handsome?"

"Me? No. You pull it off way better." Dan meant just the facial hair, really. He came back to him, wondering why Lucifer was waiting by the cold-ass door instead of already halfway across the room. "Ready to get warm?"

Lucifer _swept_ in close and kissed Dan on a scruffy cheek. "Always."

More than one woman nearby grinned at them, turning quickly away to their partner. Dan blushed, telling himself it was due entirely to being watched. 

He wasn't thinking at all about Lucifer’s immaculately groomed scruff brushing into his own not-groomed day old growth.


	5. Lunch and puns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day continues on, and the boys meet their mounts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jesus. Okay, so I got sucked back into mask-making. I'll try to do more writing again, but it's been a busy year already.

Lunch consisted of delicious smelling stew along with a vegan/vegetarian chili option, which also smelled great, honestly. He guessed none of their immediate campsite-mates had opted for it, given dinner at the minimum. The high-end meal plan added a variety of sides and drinks including nicer, hot bread for dipping and ‘premium’ hot chocolate packets. He skipped the beer (limit 1), picking up hot spiced cider in an insulated foam cup. Plastic bottles of water stood on every table - taken or otherwise - with instructions to drink at least one, even if not thirsty.

Lucifer was topping off his hot cider with a hearty flask pour, because of course he was. 

At least he picked a spot near the fireplace. 

Dan turned down the offer of whatever Lucifer had in the flask. Whatever else he claimed to be, he must have a liver of iron. 

The inside of the hall was cozy. Shed antlers made up rough chandeliers with copious electric fairy lights strung up, reminding Dan a little of LUX. That made up the sum total of similarities between the two. The rafters overhead were heavy beams of dark wood, carved and gouged by determined teenagers, some in alarming places, on the inside of the roof. There were no cracks in the walls or roof to let rain or wind creep in, even if the glass-pane windows looked original to the building itself, fifty years old or more. This place was well-kept; warm and inviting but decidedly not modern, aside from the meager overhead lighting. 

This place had seen a lot of kids events over the years, along with campers and who knows who or what else. 

He spotted what appeared to be a very small cloth bag, burst, of birdseed jammed in the corner of the nearest window. On the inside. 

Weird.

He stirred his stew and wondered if they should even eat anything. 

Eh. Too late now, after breakfast and last night. Plus, the way people ate here, they'd have to have a special dietary- 

Shit.

Dan kept his voice down, looking toward Lucifer and pretending to talk to him. "Hey Chlo.'"

Lucifer looked so confused for a moment - like he’d forgotten they were here for a reason - Dan almost laughed.

"Hmm. Yeah?" She sounded like she'd just been drinking something herself, swallowing quickly.

"I have an idea- shut up, Luc-ove."

"What was that?"

"That look he gets when I come up with something useful."

Lucifer smirked. “When you _say_ you’ve thought of something useful.”

"Ah, right, that one. Go on."

"I was thinking, some of the campers are on different meal plans. I'm wondering if our victim had any special dietary requirements or even preferences, that would make it easier-"

"Oh, yeah, good thinking. I'll check their website to see what they offer, or if they do special plans by request. The victim's wife is still very much alive, so either she had a different meal plan-"

"Or he was poisoned another way…Ella can poke around in the kitchen if there’s time."

"It could help narrow things down. But it could also make the cook here an accomplice-gotta go." He fast-whispered the last bit then looked up, "oh, hey, Leila."

She had earbuds hanging around her neck, some blandish music drifting out faintly. Picking her phone out of a pocket of her lightweight hoodie - suitable for inside the building, she paused it one-handed and put it away again before Natalie noticed. "Podcast. I _hate_ trying to catch up later. Can I join you guys?"

Lucifer nodded, oblivious to Dan's foot nudge. Or he took the mild kick as encouragement and put his hand over Dan's free one between them. "Certainly! Will we meet your lesser half?"

She nodded back. "He went back to our cabin for antihistamine pills. He's allergic to anything and everything with four legs. Shouldn't be too bad while we’re outside, though." Her meal was the vegetarian chili, thick enough to support a square of cornbread resting on top. 

Dan gestured with his spoon, not tugging too hard on his trapped hand. "Have you had any issues…?"

"Nah, but I'm not super strict. Everything tastes like smoke to me anyway because of the fires. You?”

Lucifer leaned a little closer to her from his side of the table, “we heard someone up here recently had problems.” He sniffed his stew. “Access to fresh herbs probably wouldn’t have fixed it, but it would have improved lunch. Do you suppose the chef would be open to suggestions?”

Leila snorted. “Mine is good. What, you used to fancier food? What did you expect up here on a mountainside?”

“For what I paid? Cider not out of a dry packet would be at least considerate.”

“You should be up here for the experience, not the food. The cold last night was miserable, but it made great cuddle weather, don’t you think?”

Dan went red while Lucifer nodded enthusiastically. “The dry air was a proper mood killer, I can tell you right off.”

Dan attempted to hide behind his Styrofoam cup. “So you heard about the death up here?”

She stopped mid-chew of the bread and swallowed hard. “Yeah, but it’s probably not really nefarious. I can’t imagine why anyone would have wanted to kill Jack.

“You knew him?”

“Well, I knew of him. Natalie knew him a lot better. He and his wife were here the last time we were, like 2 months ago? We come up here every so often to get away from how crazy busy LA can be, you know? Less for the therapy aspect and more just for fun. Plus we get to meet couples like you guys.”

Dan tugged his hand away from Lucifer’s and dug into his stew. “Did you talk to them? Jack and his wife?”

“Not really. They argued a lot, so it wasn’t really comfortable to be around them. They didn’t exactly radiate a welcoming vibe, you know? We hung around couples we bet might turn out to be swingers.”

Dan choked on his beef

Lucifer slapped him on the back, which didn’t actually help at all. “Look me up when you’re back in town, if you have a free evening,-”

To Dan’s vast relief, she just laughed, “no, that was the bet that weekend. We don’t swing. This weekend is different.”

Lucifer only looked a little disappointed. “What’s this one, then?”

“I might tell you at closing ceremonies. Maybe.”

* * *

Right up until they were standing outside the stable, Dan was half-convinced the trail ride would be, he didn’t know, but something other than...dealing with actual horses.

A pair of dark brown eyes examined him from close to his height. 

He’d forgotten how big they could be.

The handler had them already saddled and tied up to a section of fence. He introduced himself as Tom, giving general instructions, answering questions and pairing up riders and horses. All the animals were equipped with western-style saddles that Tom swore would keep even the most novice rider from falling off. 

Dan got a slender-legged brown mare who kept trying to eat his coat sleeve. She leaned her head into his palm when he touched her cheek, requesting and getting ear-scritches from him. 

Lucifer was assigned a huge black horse with a natural wave in its mane and tail. Again, Dan expected him to scoff or sigh or want nothing to do with something so rustic. Again, Dan was surprised when the black dropped his head for ear scratches. It lifted a single foreleg to stand a hoof on edge, and from a certain angle, the horse could have been bowing to Lucifer.

But that was silly.

Tom checked the girth on Dan’s horse and slapped her sharply on the side. She let out a massive breath, audibly sighing. At Dan’s alarmed look, he just said, “Cin was holding it in, trying to see if she could keep the girth loose and dump you out on the trail.” He demonstrated by flipping black the skirt, taking a hold of the anchored strap in one hand, the girth end in the other, and tugging it hard enough to cinch in by a notch. He patted her side as he let it fall back into place.

Dan licked his teeth. "..Sin?"

Tom laughed. "Cinnamon."

Lucifer helpfully piped up, "your horse has a stripper name."

Cinnamon side-eyed them both. Tom rolled his eyes. “She’s a good girl, usually. Just don’t try too hard to steer her, she’ll follow the horse in front of her just fine.” 

Cinnamon accepted a baby carrot from Tom, then nuzzled him in turn. She shook her head and stamped a foot, wanting to move out.

Dan patted her neck, renewing his internal vow to bring Trixie trail-riding at some point. She’d love this. Cinnamon shoved her warm nose into his chest, looking for more treats. Tom passed him a few TUMS, which she eagerly lapped out of his open hand. Tom explained, “Not much sugar, they can eat as many as they want, almost. Treat a horse well and they’ll carry you anywhere.” The handler patted Cinnamon lovingly one more time on the neck and moved to check Lucifer’s mount a few paces away.

Lucifer stroked the horse’s face, moving to scratch under the chin, then up to the throat, right where head met the neck. Lucifer hummed and dug his finger tips in, scratching harder. The horse stuck out his lips and sighed happily, leaning into it, wiggling to get the best spot with half-lidded eyes.

It occurred to Dan that Lucifer was probably ruining his manicure. 

Tom checked the girth, but found no issues. “You seem to get along with Pepper.”

“He reminds me of an old friend.”

Dan casually looked around his horse to eavesdrop.

"You ride often?"

"Not in a while. I usually had my own reliable transportation methods. No need for a mount, really. But I could hardly let pass a claim that someone could do something better than I, so I picked up the skill." Lucifer smoothed the hair he'd ruffled and slid a finger under a leather band of the bridle. "He says he's happy here, by the way. He gets confused about his name, though."

Tom ducked his head. "You know, horses usually have a show name and a barn name. Pepper's papers say his birth name is Rein of Terror. Doesn't fit him at all."

Dan couldn't resist asking, "what's Cinnamon's?" 

" _Tag You're It_."

Lucifer laughed at Dan's expression and he couldn't help hiding a smile. He asked, "how did she become Cin?"

Tom smirked. "See, there was this gorgeous brown-haired woman I used to like seeing down at a certain club in town…"

Lucifer winked. "I might even know the one. Would you be a dear and help me up?"

The streak of totally-not-jealousy came back. He squashed it immediately. Besides being unfair to them both, Dan didn't consider himself to be possessive.

Rather than help, Tom sighed and pointed, "everyone will walk their mounts to the block one by one in just a few minutes. We should have started by now, but that's how it is with big groups."

Lucifer gave Dan a cheeky grin. "Don't I know it. Why, the last time we threw an orgy, the caterer almost didn't finish in time."

Dan groaned. 

Tom responded as most people did when Lucifer acted extra. He chuckled politely and moved on to the next people in line.

He moved around Cin towards Lucifer. "Seriously?"

"Well, I did invite her and her husband to stay, of course."

"No. I mean. We can't be in a committed relationship and have _orgies_."

Lucifer had the nerve to look put out. "Eve enjoyed them."

"And you aren't with her any more, right?"

"That had nothing to do with it."

Dan sucked in a very cold breath. "Okay, fine. Regardless, it's not normal. I can't turn around and bring Trixie up here in a month for a regular visit and hope no one sees me and asks me for an orgy...pass or whatever it is you do."

The look he got was downright insulting. "Why on earth would they ask _you?"_

Right. Because they're _not_ a real couple and it's completely out of the question for Lucifer to take anything seriously.

Lucifer continued, " _I'm_ the one they'd ask. I'm far more approachable than you. And-" he reached into his front coat pocket and whipped out a plain business card that was gold on one side, flashing it to show black with the LUX logo on the other side. " _I_ have the golden tickets. Would you care for one for sometime in the future, dear?"

Dan felt his jaw drop. "Are you-? What?"

Lucifer stepped into the space between them, tucked the fucking card into his back pants pocket and kissed him on the cheek.

By the time Dan recovered, Lucifer was leading Pepper to the mounting block.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thanks for following and reading. Fanfic has been a wonderful thing to have this year in particular. I hope everyone is safe and well.


End file.
